Almost a week post surgery

It’s almost a week since I had surgery to remove the granuloma, and to remove a tooth. It was brutal, and at one point I had to be held down for the surgeon to get enough leverage to do part of the operation. I’m doing everything I can to forget that experience. The surgery went…

‘D’ Day

‘D‘ is for diagnosis. Today I will finally have confirmation that either I do, or don’t have Cancer. Up until 11:30 today I’ve been feeling OK. Now I’m starting to feel quite nervous. What makes today worse is that I have a 1hr bus journey to get to the Hospital, and another 1hr to get…

Another appointment, and thinking about a decision

I’m off to another appointment this morning, for a tooth extraction and root canal. They are related to damage the granuloma caused. I had a decent nights sleep, but woke with some odd thoughts. I look at my life and, the loss, the depression, work etc., and can’t stop thinking that refusing any treatment might…

It’s not that cancer, but, it might be this one…

I have just returned from my visit to the hospital to see my consultant. I know know that the granuloma isn’t the ‘common‘ cancer they expected. See On a bus to destiny. This, I guess, is good news.   Except, it might be a rarer type of cancer, and the tests for that take longer….

On a bus to destiny.

I’m sat on the bus to the hospital to get my results. Will the granuloma be cancerous? What’s occupying my mind right now is not the diagnosis but what happens after. Do I; Cry Get on with the next steps Go on a three day bender? Get angry Find God? Enact my revenge? Will it…

Eyes down for the 8:08 to London Bridge.

As a disabled passenger on public transport, with a hidden disability, it’s interesting to note the number of “funny looks” you get. It makes me uncomfortable when I consider where the highest number of this looks come from.

Hitting a bad patch

I’m struggling to write this post, I just don’t have the emotional energy, but I’m forcing myself. I had a few bad days last week, I assumed it was ‘just a blip’, they happy, and that’s OK. I can deal with that. But, the last few days have been hard work. I went home to…

Well things have not been so good…

I’ve not been in a “good place” for a fair while. For me, life is an inescapable, long, lonely, slow trudge towards a meaningless end. Ultimately whatever we do is spectacularly pointless. So, I think I need to take a break from Facebook for an undefined period. I’m still considering if I should post this…