I think I was raped

Small PrintIf you are a friend that may have worked out who One ‘Crazy’ Cook is, please don’t worry, I’m ok talking about it. I will talk to you about it in person when I’m ready. I don’t need you to reach out. It was a long long time ago, I was 19, it’s been…

Depression isn’t…

Depression isn’t simply feeling ‘sad’ or ‘down.’ It’s waking up and all of the colors of the world are faded. It’s feeling nothing and everything at once. It’s nothing and everything at once. It’s trying to go about your daily life while wearing an extremely heavy lead outfit. It’s your mind telling you that things…

I, I, I.

I AM LOST I can’t seem to change I keep repeating my old mistakes Life isn’t changing fast enough Change is slow I’ll be 50 before I’ve got anywhere I may only live to 80. I’m over half way there I don’t have the confidence anymore No one is going to find me attractive I…

I’m struggling at the moment

I’m struggling, really struggling at the moment. It was my birthday during the week, it often difficult for me. It reminds me of time passing, the loss I’ve experienced and so much more. I have been sleeping too much, eating too much and I cannot seem to feel anything positive. The intrusive thoughts are getting…

Adventures in Tattoo’s

Tonight I’m off to meet a new tattoo artist to plan the work on my first new piece in 5 years. I’m going along with a mate who is also having some work done. I’ve chosen to go with King of Hearts in London. We were really impressed when we popped into the shop on…

More than Monday Morning Blues?

I’ve come to accept the Monday morning blues as something that is normal. I am though starting to think that there is something else behind why I find I am affected by them in such an extreme way. OK, so I know I don’t have ovaries, but this is me on a nightly basis. I…

Sunday Blues

Sundays are often an odd experience for me. I struggle with having to iron shirts and prep for the week ahead. Somehow it’s always felt like I’m starting work right then and there. I’ve got a challenging week ahead. I’m travelling to see a client on Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Not normally an issue,…

2019 The Season of Change

This, for me, is a season of change. I’ve been wanting to start changing for so long now, but haven’t. I think about change a lot, often how I’m going to change, and how I’ll fuck it up and how its just easier not to bother. I’ve had a couple of days stuck at home….

HAPPY 2019

Happy new year folks! Another year has passed, another year has come. I wish for you that, with every year, you achieve all of your dreams. I will be trying (once again) to come to terms with being me, to improve my mental and physical health and I may even start to consider re-joining the…

No matter how I try…

No matter how I try, I just can’t seem to get into the Christmas mood. I’m a bit of Christmas purist at heart. I don’t like the long drawn out Christmas period it reduces the impact. I would really like Christmas to be small, quiet and dark. The world is too bright these days. I…