No matter how I try…

No matter how I try, I just can’t seem to get into the Christmas mood. I’m a bit of Christmas purist at heart. I don’t like the long drawn out Christmas period it reduces the impact.

I would really like Christmas to be small, quiet and dark. The world is too bright these days. I fondly remember as a child we sit watching TV with the Christmas tree lit and the light from tree cast shards of colour over the wall, today you can barely tell the tree is lit once a couple of the living room lights are turned on.

Those ‘dark’ Christmas’s as a child were special. Christmas as an adult has consistently been a letdown. It can never live up to my memories.

It doesn’t help that my partner died on the evening of Christmas Day 2015, the thought of Christmas Day & Boxing Day and having to pretend to be happy drags me down.

My family will drag me around the town, wanting to show off their successful son that lives in London. All the while I’m wondering who the person is that they think is me. It’s easy to smile when you’re in a crowd, its when I’m on my own it’s tough.

Even the food isn’t up to much, once you have realised it just a roast dinner the celebratory nature of it is lost. Why do people get so stressed about it, it’s just a roast with a few extra bits & bobs. In the UK its one of the few days that practically everyone cooks at the same time, with the inevitable effect of reducing the gas pressure. PLEASE DONT COOK! It just upsets my mother, and lead her to take it out on the rest of the family! 🙂


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