‘D’ day – part two. It’s not cancer, so why do I feel down?

It’s not cancer! The tumour (yes, it is a tumour) is benign and therefore not considered as a Cancer. It still needs removing and retesting, which is run of the mill. But, it’s not cancer, I should feel relieved. So why don’t I feel amazing I hadn’t figured on this outcome, I’d not prepared myself….

‘D’ Day

‘D‘ is for diagnosis. Today I will finally have confirmation that either I do, or don’t have Cancer. Up until 11:30 today I’ve been feeling OK. Now I’m starting to feel quite nervous. What makes today worse is that I have a 1hr bus journey to get to the Hospital, and another 1hr to get…

2 Hours of constant laughter with the Cheapshow Live.

Yesterday I spent a wonderful afternoon watching Cheapshow Live! If you don’t know this ruddy good podcast, then why? You should! @paulgannonshow @elisnoid are two the the funniest nutjobs ever! It was also great to see their guests, Ash Frith, Ashens & Mr Biffo, in person. Honestly, it was a brilliant way to spend a couple of hours…

When people stick their nose in

I dont like Fridays. Tell me why? stick (one’s) nose in(to) (something) To involve oneself in an intrusive or nosy manner into something that is not one’s business or responsibility. stick nose into On Friday one of my colleagues decided that it was a good time to try and talk to me about my health…

Another appointment, and thinking about a decision

I’m off to another appointment this morning, for a tooth extraction and root canal. They are related to damage the granuloma caused. I had a decent nights sleep, but woke with some odd thoughts. I look at my life and, the loss, the depression, work etc., and can’t stop thinking that refusing any treatment might…

It’s not that cancer, but, it might be this one…

I have just returned from my visit to the hospital to see my consultant. I know know that the granuloma isn’t the ‘common‘ cancer they expected. See On a bus to destiny. This, I guess, is good news.   Except, it might be a rarer type of cancer, and the tests for that take longer….

On a bus to destiny.

I’m sat on the bus to the hospital to get my results. Will the granuloma be cancerous? What’s occupying my mind right now is not the diagnosis but what happens after. Do I; Cry Get on with the next steps Go on a three day bender? Get angry Find God? Enact my revenge? Will it…

The countdown…

So tomorrow I get the results of the biopsy and details of whatever the next steps are. I hope I will be able to sleep tonight. I will try to handle things with some decorum. But… If its bad news I have a list of people who will be finding out what I really think…

Hospital Waiting Rooms

Sitting in the waiting room at King’s College Hospital in London, and observing my surroundings, I am amused, but not surprisingly reassured that all hospital waiting rooms are basically the same. Whenever you spend time in a waiting room you will find Rows of uncomfortable chairs bolted to the floor. A badly behaved child, accompanied…

Sundays

Its Sunday afternoon, its cooler than expected. I have a pre-op assessment tomorrow. I feel lonely. Something that strikes me as odd though is that I dont want to be around people. In fact having to deal with people tomorrow concerns me. I know I’ll be fine, and that work in the morning will be…