I’m playing the waiting game at the moment. While the surgery to my mouth seems to have removed a large part of the ‘carcinoma‘, this isn’t the end of things.

On Wednesday I have a follow-up appointment where I hope to either get the all clear or at least know what the next steps are. If it is cancer I want to know what I can do to beat ‘the bastard‘.

OK, so I’ve had a good weekend with friends, and it has been an excellent way to defocus from all the crap I’ve been through and feel a little hope. Therefore I have decided I will fight ‘the bastard‘ if it does turn out its cancer.

If it’s not cancer the ‘the bastard‘ in question will be my weight, and my sadness. I realise that I can be happy, but that it needs work, and that I need to supplement my friends with some carefully chosen new ones.

It’s interesting how a diagnosis can change your perspective. I’m keen to use some of the pain into something powerful & new, a ‘grab life by the balls attitude‘.