I’ve not been in a “good place” for a fair while. For me, life is an inescapable, long, lonely, slow trudge towards a meaningless end. Ultimately whatever we do is spectacularly pointless.
So, I think I need to take a break from Facebook for an undefined period. I’m still considering if I should post this (or a version of it) to facebook. I don’t know if anyone gives a damn anymore.
Ah, so this is just another rant by some irrationally angry sad weirdo? Well yes, maybe.
I accept that my physical, mental health and what’s happened to me over the last few years are my problem and my problem alone.
One of the things I’ve come to realise recently is that as the person that is living with depression and associated loneliness is that we place a lot of the blame for our predicament on ourselves. “I’m difficult, I’m boring, I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m ugly… why would anyone bother with me, I’ll just let them down“.
If you’ve read this far, you might not agree with what I’m about to say. Here goes.
My loneliness and despair are not are not entirely my fault.
You are partly responsible for this!
You are the people that stopped talking to the person with depression and anxiety; you are the ones that passed on by when I was reaching out for help.
You stopped inviting me out because “it might be difficult for them to stand for that long“, “they don’t like crowds“. You might think you’re doing a good deed. You’re not! You are hurting us, confusing us, making things worse.
You’re probably going to disagree or think, well “I’m not that close to them“, “it would be rude to intrude“. Well on those times when we sit feeling lost and alone we might appreciate someone, anyone, reaching out and saying a simple hello.
Its time that everyone understood more about good mental health were all part of this. I hope you never suffer from poor mental health, its a lonely, cold place, but if we all remembered to be kind, and reach out from time to time, it might be easier.